this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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