So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
