heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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