I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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