I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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