my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
