yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
