Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
