at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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