therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
