So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize