I CAN MOONWALK!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize