you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize