Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
