All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
