Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
