i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
