you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
