You're earring is so big in my mouth
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize