i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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