ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
