if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
