so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
