Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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