Will you blow on my dice?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
