ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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