so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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