I faked an abortion last night.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
