Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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