11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
