I think I am morally bankrupt
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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