Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I believe in your delicious
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
