the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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