let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize