chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
