8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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