im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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