Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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