somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
