I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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