Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
