so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
where am i from again
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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