I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
