What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
