I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Found your dick twin last night
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize