I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
