please come you make the beer taste better
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
