i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He passed out mid-signature
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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