hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
