Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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