New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
