Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
