I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
