i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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