just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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