Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
