just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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