During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
