If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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