she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
