Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
