I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
